What Makes a Great ISEE Essay? Three Student Samples

The ISEE essay isn’t scored, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Admissions officers at private schools do read it. They’re looking for clear thinking, logical organization, age-appropriate voice, and writing mechanics, all under the pressure of the clock. 

Below are three sample responses to the same ISEE prompt, all written under realistic conditions. We’ve labeled them as Needs Work, Strong, and Outstanding and included commentary on each.

The Prompt:

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

🟠 Essay 1: Needs Work

If I had a superpower, it would be flying. Flying would be cool because I could go anywhere I wanted. I wouldn’t need a plane or car. I would fly over buildings and people. I think flying is fun and fast. I would fly to school so I wouldn’t be late. I could also fly to other countries and see the world. Flying would help me a lot.

This response shows basic structure and an understanding of the prompt, but it lacks development and variety. The sentences are repetitive, and the ideas are underexplored. While this might be the very beginning of a rough draft, a student at this level should be encouraged to:

• Write more if possible, using all 30 minutes allotted
• Add examples and deeper reasoning
• Use transitions
• Include a clear introduction and conclusion
• Vary sentence structure and vocabulary

 

🟡 Essay 2: Strong

     If I could have any superpower, I would choose the ability to fly. Flying would be convenient, helpful, and just plain fun! 

   Being able to fly would be so much more useful than travelling in a car or a normal plane. I could go anywhere in the world quickly. If I wanted to visit my family, I wouldn’t have to wait for vacation or worry about plane tickets. I could just go. I would explore places that are hard to reach, like mountains or far away forests. Also, everyday life would be easier. I wouldn’t have to worry about traffic or getting to school late. I could fly over all the cars and land right by the front door. 

   Flying could also help other people. Like Superman, if someone needed help, I could reach them faster than an ambulance or helicopter. Or I could help my younger brother get to soccer practice. I know flying wouldn’t solve all the world’s problems, but I could use it to make a difference.

    Finally, I think flying would just be so fun! I dream of flying through the sky, feeling the wind, and seeing the world from a new perspective. I always see birds in the sky and think about how it would be beautiful from up there. I feel like flying would make me feel more confident, adventurous, and joyful. That’s why I would choose flight, out of all the superpowers. 

This essay offers clear thinking, specific examples, and strong organization. The ideas build logically, and there is more nuance beyond the initial excitement of flying. The student connects personal experiences to broader reasoning, which shows maturity. While still written in a single narrative voice, it would benefit from:

• More advanced transitions between ideas
• A stronger hook in the introduction
• A true conclusion that ties everything together 

Still, this is a very solid ISEE essay under timed conditions.

🟢 Essay 3: Outstanding

        If I could have any superpower, I would choose the ability to understand and speak every language in the world. This might not sound as exciting as flying or being invisible, but I believe it would give me the power to connect people, solve problems, and make the world a kinder place. Language is how we understand each other. If I could speak to anyone, anywhere, I could learn from them, and help them learn from me.

        First, I would use this power to help people who are lost or confused. When I’m out with my family and we see someone who doesn’t speak English trying to ask for help, I always wish I could translate. With my superpower, I could make sure no one felt left out or misunderstood. I could help refugees find safety, or help doctors understand patients who speak a different language.

        Second, I love to read and write stories. If I could understand every language, I could read books in their original language, like poetry from Japan, fairy tales from Nigeria, ancient Greek plays. I could learn so much about different cultures and share those stories with others. It would be like having a super library in my brain.

        Third, I would use my power to work with leaders, translators, and peacebuilders. I feel like a lot of problems in the world are from misunderstanding. If I could help people talk to each other clearly, maybe they could understand each other better, and maybe that would lead to more peace.

         In the end, I believe that understanding each other is the most powerful thing we can do. Super speed or strength might help sometimes, but communication can change the world every day. If I could have any superpower, I would choose the one that helps people understand each other, because that’s the one we need the most!

This is an outstanding ISEE essay. The student takes an original angle, supports their idea with personal reflection, real-world examples, and thoughtful reasoning. The five-paragraph structure is clear, and each paragraph builds on the previous one. The voice is confident, the vocabulary is rich but age-appropriate, and the message is compelling.

This student demonstrates:

• Strong planning and structure
• Advanced idea development
• Unique voice and perspective
• Clear command of writing mechanics

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The ISEE essay may be short, but it is important. Even sixth graders can write powerful, structured, and insightful responses with practice. Encourage your student to:

• Use a clear beginning, middle, and end
• Plan before writing (even 3–5 minutes of brainstorming helps!)
• Include examples and explanation
• Write with their own voice, not what they think “sounds smart”

And remember, we’re here to help. From brainstorming to timed writing practice, our tutors know how to support students at every level.